Gedpogwab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying dove.

Gedpogwab created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gedpogwab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gedpogwab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gedpogwab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gedpogwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never mention cats.

4. Gedpogwab loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.