Fonmadliptarg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet turtle.

Fonmadliptarg created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonmadliptarg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fonmadliptarg, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fonmadliptarg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fonmadliptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the east.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.