Lopyik is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unsympathetic snake.

Lopyik created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopyik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lopyik, she will try to impress you with trees.

Lopyik's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lopyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Run away from violet bats, for they are unholy.

4. Put Lopyik first in all things.

5. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Lopyik on top of important buildings.