Lunnadlarnvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous mongoose.

Lunnadlarnvonk created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunnadlarnvonk, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lunnadlarnvonk, he will destroy your home solar system.

Lunnadlarnvonk's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Lunnadlarnvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Lunnadlarnvonk in the centre of the settlement.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.