Wodquillcip is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic mink.

Wodquillcip created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodquillcip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wodquillcip, he will think nothing of it.

Wodquillcip's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Wodquillcip's Holy Commandments

1. Wodquillcip loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Hide from red eagles for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Wodquillcip in the centre of the settlement.