Metbotjab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective wasp.

Metbotjab created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metbotjab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metbotjab, he will make you grow a tail.

Metbotjab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Metbotjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Metbotjab loves rats, so they must be honoured.