Zimkemjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, fast otter.

Zimkemjarn created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Zimkemjarn, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zimkemjarn, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zimkemjarn's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zimkemjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never jump in summer.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Never think about optics near porpoises while wearing pink dresses and balancing seven gold spheres on your face.