Daplitbess Quatgofgat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent rhinoceros.

Daplitbess Quatgofgat created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daplitbess Quatgofgat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Daplitbess Quatgofgat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Daplitbess Quatgofgat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Daplitbess Quatgofgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Daplitbess Quatgofgat.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must never eat oranges.