Dadtalcet is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring gorilla.

Dadtalcet created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadtalcet, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dadtalcet, it will manifest in front of you.

Dadtalcet's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Dadtalcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to moths while wearing mauve corsets.

2. Never run near great tits.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about planets.