Nutthomflagcabtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty monkey.

Nutthomflagcabtetti created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutthomflagcabtetti, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nutthomflagcabtetti, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nutthomflagcabtetti's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nutthomflagcabtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect four titanium sculptures of Nutthomflagcabtetti on top of important buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.