Lanpibbamnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, effective shark.

Lanpibbamnurl created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanpibbamnurl, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lanpibbamnurl, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lanpibbamnurl's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lanpibbamnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always obey Lanpibbamnurl's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.