Citkarcum is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable monkey.

Citkarcum created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Citkarcum, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Citkarcum, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Citkarcum's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Citkarcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

5. Always wear magenta.