Nuttbinjen is a god.

He takes the form of a large, annoying bear.

Nuttbinjen created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttbinjen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttbinjen, he will turn you into a mole.

Nuttbinjen's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nuttbinjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must love Nuttbinjen.

4. Put Nuttbinjen first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.