Matrilquill is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty troll.

Matrilquill created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Matrilquill, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Matrilquill, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Matrilquill's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Matrilquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not take Matrilquill's name in vain.

4. Never wear white skirts.

5. Do not speak about garlic.