Rulquafgub is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful octopus.

Rulquafgub created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rulquafgub, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rulquafgub, she will not care.

Rulquafgub's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Rulquafgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to ants while wearing tights.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must never eat bananas.