Bopcutlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced walrus.

Bopcutlarn created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopcutlarn, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bopcutlarn, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bopcutlarn's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bopcutlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six otters approach from the north.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bopcutlarn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.