Fosskonhub Quartganvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent goblin.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fosskonhub Quartganvig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fosskonhub Quartganvig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing stockings.

2. Worship no other gods but Fosskonhub Quartganvig.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Fosskonhub Quartganvig in the centre of the settlement.