Nutlamjab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, happy chinchilla.

Nutlamjab created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutlamjab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nutlamjab, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nutlamjab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Nutlamjab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nutlamjab first in all things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.