Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing walrus.

Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to cats while wearing orange kilts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dodtabkik Bastapprillmutdumrut.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.