Zodbumnul is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, pitiless squid.

Zodbumnul created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodbumnul, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zodbumnul, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zodbumnul's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zodbumnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never sing near birds.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Zodbumnul must be the most important thing in your life.