Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage monkey.

Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Fiddangadtailtadpomhapsaf loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.