Flowcisssityarl is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient hamster.

Flowcisssityarl created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Flowcisssityarl, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flowcisssityarl, he will refuse to believe in you.

Flowcisssityarl's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flowcisssityarl's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear blue rings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.