Legtifcip is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, blissful pigeon.

Legtifcip created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Legtifcip, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Legtifcip, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Legtifcip's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Legtifcip's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Never whisper while facing north.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.