Bestwabbed Tinpanyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fast clam.

Bestwabbed Tinpanyat created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestwabbed Tinpanyat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bestwabbed Tinpanyat, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bestwabbed Tinpanyat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bestwabbed Tinpanyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Run away from violet voles, for they are unholy.

3. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the south.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.