Parktammidbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, generous unicorn.

Parktammidbaf created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Parktammidbaf, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Parktammidbaf, it will laugh at you.

Parktammidbaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Parktammidbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Hide if nine ducks approach from the west.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. You must pray to Parktammidbaf seven times a day.