Cissganfonnell is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering spider.

Cissganfonnell created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cissganfonnell, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cissganfonnell, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cissganfonnell's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cissganfonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven sharks approach from the south.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never hop in holy places.