Nartlunsand is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful dolphin.

Nartlunsand created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartlunsand, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartlunsand, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nartlunsand's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Nartlunsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never leap near shrews.

3. Nartlunsand loves manatees, so they must be respected.

4. Hide from yellow moths for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.