Looploopladbarnrantim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident chicken.

Looploopladbarnrantim created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Looploopladbarnrantim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Looploopladbarnrantim, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Looploopladbarnrantim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Looploopladbarnrantim's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Put Looploopladbarnrantim first in all things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.