Zenyarlkom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful crane.

Zenyarlkom created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenyarlkom, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zenyarlkom, he will not care at all.

Zenyarlkom's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Zenyarlkom's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Pray towards the north.