Barnbabnill is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, stupid mole.

Barnbabnill created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbabnill, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barnbabnill, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Barnbabnill's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Barnbabnill's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to sheep while wearing green jumpers.