Ditfotkemcussxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous chinchilla.

Ditfotkemcussxuck created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditfotkemcussxuck, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ditfotkemcussxuck, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ditfotkemcussxuck's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Ditfotkemcussxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Ditfotkemcussxuck loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always maintain purity during holy days.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Do not name children after gulls.