Cadtimdin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured unicorn.

Cadtimdin created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadtimdin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cadtimdin, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cadtimdin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cadtimdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cadtimdin's name in vain.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Hide from mauve dolphins for they are unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Do not speak about corn.