Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy jellyfish.

Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav, she will not invite you to parties.

Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. You must love Kanabladnelquartkamhenshav.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Never talk about dark energy near goats while wearing mauve coats and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.