Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren is a god.

She takes the form of a large, temperamental shark.

Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren, she will make you grow a tail.

Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

3. Gumciprot Somyatdoss Ruttkarren loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured great tits.

5. Never talk about gravity.