Begranbumtail is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak tapir.

Begranbumtail created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begranbumtail, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Begranbumtail, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Begranbumtail's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Begranbumtail's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Begranbumtail.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with black.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with anger.

5. Never think about bacteria.