Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic octopus.

Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bepbastdot Rillmitkarquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not name children after rats.

3. Never travel toward the south during summer.

4. Do not wear rings marked with fawn.

5. Never talk about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your hands.