Nilhombap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, quiet toad.

Nilhombap created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Nilhombap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nilhombap, he will turn you into a mole.

Nilhombap's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nilhombap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing brown kilts.

2. Never talk about special relativity near gulls while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Respect your elders.