Yarlparkrow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, generous fish.

Yarlparkrow created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlparkrow, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlparkrow, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yarlparkrow's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yarlparkrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never paint your chest mauve.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.