Jattunrakbonkligzan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic squid.

Jattunrakbonkligzan created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jattunrakbonkligzan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jattunrakbonkligzan, it will turn you into a mouse.

Jattunrakbonkligzan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jattunrakbonkligzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare spinach while wearing jumpers.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Jattunrakbonkligzan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion tools from lead.