Jabyimfid is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, passionate donkey.

Jabyimfid created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Jabyimfid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabyimfid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jabyimfid's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Jabyimfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Do not consume beans at dawn.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Heed all visions.