Dibgantom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair dolphin.

Dibgantom created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibgantom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dibgantom, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dibgantom's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dibgantom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never curse while facing north.