Larnmiphog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty dolphin.

Larnmiphog created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnmiphog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnmiphog, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Larnmiphog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Larnmiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help birds.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never write about nebulae.