Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless owl.

Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bitquartgubhuggebpodwipquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Do not hurt turtles.