Zimnulgov is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring crocodile.

Zimnulgov created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimnulgov, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zimnulgov, she will turn you into a worm.

Zimnulgov's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zimnulgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Zimnulgov on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.