Targgudveg is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, merciless dingo.

Targgudveg created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targgudveg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Targgudveg, it will turn you into a snail.

Targgudveg's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Targgudveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Always help doves.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Never think about optics near eagles while wearing yellow trousers and balancing eight copper spheres on your head.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.