Nulqueegkar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful crocodile.

Nulqueegkar created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulqueegkar, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nulqueegkar, he will refuse to believe in you.

Nulqueegkar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nulqueegkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of rats.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always help mites.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. You must never eat coconuts.