Hivlipwad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, cheerful narwhal.

Hivlipwad created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivlipwad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hivlipwad, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hivlipwad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hivlipwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never wear tights.

3. You must love Hivlipwad.

4. Do not hurt moths.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Hivlipwad in the centre of the settlement.