Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane penguin.

Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag, it will torture you forever.

Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Xuccissdotkap Nadgondim Gupruldag loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.