Fubfotfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring cobra.

Fubfotfas created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Fubfotfas, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fubfotfas, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fubfotfas' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fubfotfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Always remove hats before touching aluminium.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing turquoise coats and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

4. Never think ill of sick frogs.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.