Xensafsog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, resourceful rhinoceros.

Xensafsog created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xensafsog, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xensafsog, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xensafsog's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Xensafsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your hands before prayer.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

4. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

5. Do not wear skirts marked with pink.