Cemkinyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust elephant.

Cemkinyatt created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemkinyatt, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemkinyatt, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cemkinyatt's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cemkinyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Cemkinyatt must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Hide from fawn birds for they are unholy.